Where I am today in this moment…

N.0805.Yesterday

For what ever reason right now at this moment I am overtaken with a feeling that cries out to the world…I am here! I am here today; that is a gift. There are days I wake up and there s such a struggle to move forward, to get past the weight of past circumstances or beliefs and then there are days where you know deep down there is a change coming.

A Mark Twain quote keeps filling my head:
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

And today as I was reading a book this quote by Natasha Brown resonated:
“I’ve learned that if you have a power, you are obligated to use it.”

I wish I could say that today I have found these things and suddenly know exactly what to do, but I can’t. What I can say is that when I ask myself these potent questions my mind explodes with emotion and joy and to some extent…terror.

This has been a year of asking myself what I want, not what do I think I want or what should I do, but what do I want and who do I want to be as I go through this life. These are harder questions than we think because once you answer them there is an obligation to make it happen. A contract with yourself that you can no longer avoid signing. A contract that has blank lines to be filled in at a later date and that takes courage. I don’t always believe I have that kind of courage, but I can tell you I know it would be in the contract.

These days I ask myself what my true values are and if the choices I make are in line. Sometimes yes and sometimes no, however I’ll admit I haven’t signed that contract yet. I’m waiting for something, an answer of some sort and I have no idea what it is, but I have to believe it will come. Until then, well…I’m working on it. I suppose that’s the important part.

Nichole Donjé

Author: Finding True North

Nichole Donje is an interdisciplinary artist, activist, and leader. A philosopher and self-exploration addict, Nichole is currently working on two books of art and poetry FINDING TRUE NORTH and LIFE POEMS. She is a visual artist and photographer. Nichole founded and ran the highly regarded New York City based independent theatre company TAPT from 2006-2016. Serving as TAPT’s Artistic Director, Nichole worked diligently to support new and forgotten works that help shape the way we view the world around us. A recognized leader, Nichole served three terms as Vice President of the Board of Directors for The Players. Currently, she chairs both the Communications and Theatre Committees which she established. The Players celebrates the rich cultural life of New York City with exclusive member-only events that include live performances, readings by leading authors and playwrights, film screenings, and dining in its famous Grill Room. More information about The Players may be found at theplayersnyc.org. A key influencer of the Players current revitalization she has become an advocate for the art and livelihood of a social club. The Players not only honors yesterday’s and today’s luminaries of the performing arts but also reminds us of the necessity of building face to face relationships. Nichole is a member of SAG-AFTRA, LPTW/League of Professional Theatre Women, LeanInNYC, and The Players.

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