My 10 Minute Rants

2/15/17

Sometimes I am so full of energy I am not quite sure what to do with it. In fact, I overwhelm myself so much that I shut down to some extents. Right now in my life is an oddly troubling time, but as I sit in it, this strange phenomenon seems to be happening. I am getting sparked. I am all of a sudden inundated with ideas and possible connections. It seems like people are reaching out and I want to give…give…give. I fear to spread myself too thin. I’m apprehensive to take on too much. In reality, I dread my life passing to quickly as it often does when my energy gets the best of me. I go…go…go until all of a sudden it’s two years later, and I realize I don’t even know where I’m heading anymore. I will say, this time feels different. I feel ready for something; I’m not quite sure what, but I believe it’s coming and coming fast. I am more aware of myself than I have ever been, more content and calm than I have ever known and oddly more stable, as unstable as my current situation is. But there is this openness, this flow I do not want to plug. It is rushing forward. It’s personal, it’s professional, and it’s political. I am in a black hole rushing through to the other side, not knowing when I will be thrust out into the unknown. I don’t want to lose myself; I want to keep a clear head. I don’t want to focus on what’s hard, but instead, on what’s possible. My true nature is emerging as it did in my late teens and early twenties, but without the baggage that held me down. It is all me. I want clarity. I seek the truth, I am ready to understand my purpose, and I am scared as hell! There is a ship awaiting me on the other side of this wormhole, and I will happily set out on this crazy endeavor with my voice loud and powerful. I know deep down that this year will help define me in one way or another. And finally, I believe that is a good thing. It is time for that rock that has been weighing me down deep inside to be passed, tossed out into the atmosphere to break apart and turn to dust, the stardust that will guide me.

Namastè

©NicholeDonjè

Author: Finding True North

Nichole Donje is an interdisciplinary artist, activist, and leader. A philosopher and self-exploration addict, Nichole is currently working on two books of art and poetry FINDING TRUE NORTH and LIFE POEMS. She is a visual artist and photographer. Nichole founded and ran the highly regarded New York City based independent theatre company TAPT from 2006-2016. Serving as TAPT’s Artistic Director, Nichole worked diligently to support new and forgotten works that help shape the way we view the world around us. A recognized leader, Nichole served three terms as Vice President of the Board of Directors for The Players. Currently, she chairs both the Communications and Theatre Committees which she established. The Players celebrates the rich cultural life of New York City with exclusive member-only events that include live performances, readings by leading authors and playwrights, film screenings, and dining in its famous Grill Room. More information about The Players may be found at theplayersnyc.org. A key influencer of the Players current revitalization she has become an advocate for the art and livelihood of a social club. The Players not only honors yesterday’s and today’s luminaries of the performing arts but also reminds us of the necessity of building face to face relationships. Nichole is a member of SAG-AFTRA, LPTW/League of Professional Theatre Women, LeanInNYC, and The Players. View all posts by Finding True North