Walking to the rhythm of the streets on a hot summer night searching for the part of me I lost in the dark.
It’s the moment when you look up from your footfalls and realize it’s time to see, time to breathe.
City lights flashing by
Wish I could say I knew what it meant to not deny
My life
My heart
My circumstance
An unfortunate willingness to do the dance of denial with a smile
until I realize my body has stopped
my breath paused
my life in the purgatory of my own creation.
To walk again
With new eyes and a restless heart, I start to see the world again
The streets no longer dark but lit with the light of life
The light of dreams I thought long dead
Placed in a covered box buried beneath the concrete.
No more
Dancing now to the rhythm of the streets on a hot summer night taking in the air and the life around me. Laughter wafting like spices from windows and doorways. The breeze answering the call for a soothing touch.
Now I can see the small answer to the big question that’s been plaguing me in the dark.
Its no secret I’m new to this listening to the world and it is calling out to share its moments with me.
I hear it now, the voices clinging to hope, knowing the dance is shared and opening the world to itself and to me as I begin to see.
Don’t let the pain beat out the joy. Feel it, process it; it’s real. Then let the light in. Breathe. Release the tightness inside and choose. Choose moving forward, the weight is yours alone to let go.
It’s not about balance. It’s the back and forth, the up and down, the shared weight. It’s about when you fall, after teetering on the edge, someone being there to catch you.
The flags clanked and rattled against the poles behind me in the Autumn wind restless like I was wandering in my sleeplessness. I became dazzled by the light from the dock floating over the water creating a haze. My eyes adjusted and granted me permission to acknowledge the texture of the trees on the hill across the river and over the island to find only the slow freight trudging along the mountain; a gentle hum sharing in my loneliness.