A Little Piece of Paradise

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Today has been a bit of paradise. Its fascinating thinking about what paradise is. How extravagant or simple it can be. Today I awoke to the snow falling softly outside the huge windows of the room we are staying in. As I sat the in the quiet of the morning a natural meditation took over. My mind slipped into the billowing movement. As the hour passed as the land coated with white. I just watched with a hot cup of coffee in my hand and Dean Everson playing in the background as my husband slept. I was Calm.

That started the day, readying me for a walk in the snow with the pups who seem to thrive in this air and on this land. My little “Shy”ann aggressively and fearlessly running back and forth exploring every corner and my 14 year old Mojo trotting like a puppy down the driveway and into snow drifts, looking back at me with what seemed to be the biggest smile. They too are at peace, enjoying the simplicity, the quiet.

Next a lovely breakfast, meditation and then off to explore. This is a new area to us on the other side of the Mohonk Preserve, in High Falls. Our goal was to hit one of our favorite wineries in Gardinar, Robibiero for a glass of wine where we sat looking out past the deck to the falling snow. Worried about our senior car getting up and over the mountain we found a different route that took us through High Falls Center and though Rosendale…OMG! Quaint, lovely old time charm, we can’t wait to go back and explore in the warmer weather.

After a quiet glass of wine and talks of what we want, we headed out for a special dinner at Chez Jeanette. This was an absolutely one of a kind experience! Amazing food, the menu prepared for us specifically, incredible atmosphere and a lovely host. A little piece of paradise in the middle of New York.

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This has been a weekend about enjoying the quiet, taking in the air and being creative. It has reminded me that paradise isn’t a place but a state of mind and can be found in the simplicity of a little studio, overlooking a driveway covered in falling snow, in the happy trot of an adored pet and in the sound of a husband learning the banjo. I’ll admit the dinner was a happy bonus.

Right now I am so grateful, especially the simple things.

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Has it really been almost two months?

I have been thinking constantly about writing and blogging, but until this moment have I sat down determined to write a post. I admit it has been a crazy busy season and finding time to sit and write, without judgement (this is the key) has been almost impossible.

I would like to think that as connected as I am to myself I could allow a mean statement to wash down my back and away. But the reality is that when someone I love hurts me, I am hurt and that’s OK. A couple months ago I was accused of something that was completely untrue. When I tried to defend myself I was told that, well…that’s how they saw it and they call it like they see it. As if that somehow made it true? The more I experience comments like this, the more I believe its simply an excuse to be mean and prove oneself right. They did not hear or care when I tried to understand, instead they insulted who I was and how I show up. In reference to my writing and my view of the world I was told, “I’m not as DEEP as you”, again as if that was an insult?

For whatever reason I have found this difficult to get past, I truly love this person and consider them an essential part of my life. In one fell swoop I was accused, insulted and quite honestly (in the moment) led to question every bit of support given to me over the years.

Since then, in my deepness and in reflection here is what I have learned.

Its ok that I stepped back for a moment. I needed time to process my feelings and that is human. What was thrown at me as an insult, is actually a compliment. I have realized that the things I write about, the sometimes painful ones are not me holding on to the past, but me confronting, accepting and even embracing them. In confronting the past without anger and with intension, I am not holding on to, but instead accepting that this is my life and my experience. These things and these people are what has made me who I am and my life is truly a gift.

What I do believe is that what it is essential to release over and over, is anger. We cannot tell ourselves that we are past something when anger continues to brew, ready to lash out at some unexpected moment. I will not allow anger to keep me from my purpose and to live my intentions. Instead I will always choose to forgive and move forward.

Today I accept that I nor anyone else is perfect. I am living and learning passion without excuses. I thank life for the gift of sadness and mistakes so that I can continue to learn compassion and joy.

Take a moment today to think about what is holding you back? What do you have to say that you have not said, not in anger but as acceptance?

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver

Myself, I will be writing and posting and creating as often as I can!

Namaste

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