During the pandemic, time became this precious and encompassing gift. I didn’t have to ride the train, drive to the store or even talk to anyone but Scott if I didn’t want to. I allowed myself space and silence, time to enjoy my beautiful home and the precious fur-balls that make me a better person. I gave my Shyann almost another full year because we could be there. We brought in a new member of the family.
Time, it was finally mine to use, to give, to waste. I went back to meditation, something I’d picked up and put down for years. I sat and listened and prayed – to who or what I don’t really know but I did. In each sit I heard more, listened more, let more in – and out. The anxiety and fear and depression settled and I found a source within myself. Silence.
I am silence. I love silence. The silence of the internal mind. The silence of every awareness. I remembered who I was and that I wasn’t unworthy, just afraid. Love, the source was there, and now I had a lap to lay my head down on. I finally let love back in.
Pura vida!
