DONJÈ COACHINGquotes

Today

I am sad today. There is sadness in the air. I have friends who have lost loved ones and pets, there is illness all around and there are people I love so dearly that are lost. I’ve worked so hard for so many years to not be sad, yet today I must admit I am. I am lucky that it doesn’t go to my core, that I can lift myself up and ask for hugs and supportive words and they are there. But what for those who cannot hear them?

Life is such an adventure, but it does need skills to navigate. There are storms and death, loss and fear; but there is also hope and peace. I remember times when I thought peace was not to be a part of my adventure that it was for those who seemed perky and fun, those who learned to laugh and play. But that changed. I remember they day I said to myself why not me? At that moment an opportunity posed itself. The simple opportunity to find the good in what was happening in my life. Once I saw that, all of a sudden opportunities were everywhere, it was frightening.

I started to ask myself…were these opportunities here before? I realized that, yes…they were but my eyes were closed, my heart was shut off and my body shut down. All of a sudden in my life opportunity was everywhere, almost overwhelming me. What do I do, which do I choose, do I take them all…wait…I Am Afraid. WHY?

Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Amazing “an unpleasant emotion”. This is what keeps us from living our lives, our truth and often from being happy. The scary part of this is that what we fear is ourselves. We are so afraid of being uncomfortable we don’t allow ourselves to live, to be free. We fear what we would be if we could and yet, that’s all most people say they want. Life can be uncomfortable, yes. I will wholeheartedly admit that. But it is working through the discomfort that helps us get through the next. Each time things get a little easier and sometimes....sometimes we grow to find joy in the challenges. We learn the difference between discomfort and danger. We begin to trust our instinct and avoid “fight or flight” and instead stand tall and observe, deciding to make a choice to stay or go, to stop or run, to laugh or cry and most importantly to be okay with that.

I have learned to stop, to take a moment and breathe. To ask myself “are you okay?” What is really happening, am I simply afraid because I do not know? I am not always successful, but what I am is alive. I am living and breathing and taking chances simply because they are there for me to take; because that is what it means to be alive.

I am sad today for those going through loss. I am sad today for those with no hope. I am sad today for people I love. I am sad today for not being able to fix it for you all.

Look up. Breathe. Stand tall. Take the time to laugh…or cry. See the opportunities floating by. Hold tight to the love and not the pain. Remember that you are a gift to everyone around you and those those you lost were a gift to you that will always hold space in your heart.

May laughter and love embed itself in you today, tomorrow and whenever you choose to embrace it.

Namaste : “I bow to the divine in you.”

Propulsion

That something that keeps us moving forward toward our destination our goals our fantasies our lives our dreams. We keep moving forward always stepping toward something bigger than ourselves, than where we are now. It is a force. It is a moment. Each step a significant happening, pushing us, driving us, making us more than we ever thought we could be.

Foundations

To have partnership in your life is ensuring that the foundation you are building is being properly erected.

It is always better to have an extra set of eyes, skills, ideas, understandings. When we work alone, we can accomplish incredible things, but when we open ourselves to a partner willing to listen and share with the same in return, we grow. We bring more to the project, the community, the world. I can learn any tool or fact or exercise from a book, but I may never see it from the angle someone else may bring.

Individuals are beautiful and should be shared. Our lives are not meant to live alone and without connections.

Foundations are built to withstand pressure, and sometimes there is an issue that can’t be solved without help. We must remember, we all need help some times.

I believe when two or more people come together with a common goal, the power grows. Fear no longer has the means to take over. What stood alone now has support, accountability and connection. A connection that can reach beyond itself and become more.

My partnerships have helped me repair the cracks in my foundation. They have helped me to build higher and more soundly than I ever thought possible.

The reality is, I may be have been able to do it alone, I may have learned what I needed to survive and I may have continued to build my walls alone…but why would I?

We were not put on this earth to do it alone. We would not have been created with such a powerful need to connect to others living beings if we were.

I will always reach out to others. To build relationships in my life. This to me is life. It’s essential and purposeful. My heart would break without it. Why would I ever choose a broken heart.

White

White

Today I looked to the abyss and it filled me with its emptiness
I was cradled within its depths
So empty I felt the fullness of all the souls it contains.
Like white bending all color to show us what seems to be nothing
In nothing I find all, my view a prism of connection,
My soul sitting within one small part of the whole and finally grasping its truth.

Dedicated to the Creative Dynamic crew

Take Back Valentine’s Day

I have never been one to celebrate Valentine’s Day. My husband and I have always found the marketing aspect of it unnecessary and pushy. Not to mention I’m not the biggest fan of the color pink. It’s just always seemed to me about making people feel obligated by celebrating with things and spending money, rather than actually with love.

Time and companionship, respect and appreciation; that is true celebration.

I find it to be a lonely holiday as well, and it shouldn’t be. The “idea” of it makes those who do not have partners or lovers feel ALONE. It leaves people out.

Today, I say we take over Valentine’s Day with true love, open love. Love for our partners, our family, our friends, and most importantly OURSELVES.

I challenge you today to show the greatest love there is. Today appreciate yourself. Do something you love even if its as simple as taking a walk or a nap. Write a letter, not an email. Make a phone call instead of sending a text. Let someone or many someone’s know you care, because that is the greatest gift there is.

Love starts within, know you are appreciated and special. Acknowledge you.

You are loved.

A Little Piece of Paradise

Today has been a bit of paradise. Its fascinating thinking about what paradise is. How extravagant or simple it can be. Today I awoke to the snow falling softly outside the huge windows of the room we are staying in. As I sat the in the quiet of the morning a natural meditation took over. My mind slipped into the billowing movement. As the hour passed as the land coated with white. I just watched with a hot cup of coffee in my hand and Dean Everson playing in the background as my husband slept. I was Calm.

That started the day, readying me for a walk in the snow with the pups who seem to thrive in this air and on this land. My little “Shy”ann aggressively and fearlessly running back and forth exploring every corner and my 14 year old Mojo trotting like a puppy down the driveway and into snow drifts, looking back at me with what seemed to be the biggest smile. They too are at peace, enjoying the simplicity, the quiet.

Next a lovely breakfast, meditation and then off to explore. This is a new area to us on the other side of the Mohonk Preserve, in High Falls. Our goal was to hit one of our favorite wineries in Gardinar, Robibiero for a glass of wine where we sat looking out past the deck to the falling snow. Worried about our senior car getting up and over the mountain we found a different route that took us through High Falls Center and though Rosendale…OMG! Quaint, lovely old time charm, we can’t wait to go back and explore in the warmer weather.

After a quiet glass of wine and talks of what we want, we headed out for a special dinner at Chez Jeanette. This was an absolutely one of a kind experience! Amazing food, the menu prepared for us specifically, incredible atmosphere and a lovely host. A little piece of paradise in the middle of New York.

This has been a weekend about enjoying the quiet, taking in the air and being creative. It has reminded me that paradise isn’t a place but a state of mind and can be found in the simplicity of a little studio, overlooking a driveway covered in falling snow, in the happy trot of an adored pet and in the sound of a husband learning the banjo. I’ll admit the dinner was a happy bonus.

Right now I am so grateful, especially the simple things.

Has it really been almost two months?

I have been thinking constantly about writing and blogging, but until this moment have I sat down determined to write a post. I admit it has been a crazy busy season and finding time to sit and write, without judgement (this is the key) has been almost impossible.

I would like to think that as connected as I am to myself I could allow a mean statement to wash down my back and away. But the reality is that when someone I love hurts me, I am hurt and that’s OK. A couple months ago I was accused of something that was completely untrue. When I tried to defend myself I was told that, well…that’s how they saw it and they call it like they see it. As if that somehow made it true? The more I experience comments like this, the more I believe its simply an excuse to be mean and prove oneself right. They did not hear or care when I tried to understand, instead they insulted who I was and how I show up. In reference to my writing and my view of the world I was told, “I’m not as DEEP as you”, again as if that was an insult?

For whatever reason I have found this difficult to get past, I truly love this person and consider them an essential part of my life. In one fell swoop I was accused, insulted and quite honestly (in the moment) led to question every bit of support given to me over the years.

Since then, in my deepness and in reflection here is what I have learned.

Its ok that I stepped back for a moment. I needed time to process my feelings and that is human. What was thrown at me as an insult, is actually a compliment. I have realized that the things I write about, the sometimes painful ones are not me holding on to the past, but me confronting, accepting and even embracing them. In confronting the past without anger and with intension, I am not holding on to, but instead accepting that this is my life and my experience. These things and these people are what has made me who I am and my life is truly a gift.

What I do believe is that what it is essential to release over and over, is anger. We cannot tell ourselves that we are past something when anger continues to brew, ready to lash out at some unexpected moment. I will not allow anger to keep me from my purpose and to live my intentions. Instead I will always choose to forgive and move forward.

Today I accept that I nor anyone else is perfect. I am living and learning passion without excuses. I thank life for the gift of sadness and mistakes so that I can continue to learn compassion and joy.

Take a moment today to think about what is holding you back? What do you have to say that you have not said, not in anger but as acceptance?

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver

Myself, I will be writing and posting and creating as often as I can!

Namaste

Today, remember to make gratitude your prayer

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.” Maya Angelou

I have learned over the past few years what gratitude truly is and the power it yields. So much so that at times it has scared me how quickly the world can open once you allow yourself to actually know it. For me my life is a constant search for wholeness, for finding the things in life that both give and take in the same moment; which is every friend, every brief conversation shared on the train, sitting by the pond with my dogs, prepping dinner with my husband, watching my nieces, nephew and godchildren grow.

Today I am grateful for the simple traditions. I am always excited at the thought of spending time with the family. To see parents, siblings and the nieces and nephew. I only wish there were more time to visit and see more of the people I so love; I’m grateful for the time I have, but there is never enough time. I can only hope they know they are missed.

Our day usually consists of waking up to the smell of turkey in the oven and Sandy, my mom in law, getting things organized. Usually she has gotten some special sweet treat for breakfast.

I wake up, usually long before Scott, put on the strong coffee, feed the dogs and decide whether or not it’s an egg sandwich or sweet treat day…I usually save the treats for the plethora of deserts awaiting us in the garage where they’re kept to keep them cool.

Then I simply I look forward to gathering.

Bob, the dad in law tends to get up next on the holiday and Scott follows behind. We sit and chat watching some sort of tv and pumping our veins with caffeine. Around 12pm Scott and I will start helping get things ready, moving and setting the table in the living room, there’s always a festive centerpiece to excite the decor. From there we just do what is needed of us, sitting lazily in between and enjoying the day.

My mom tends to be the first to show these days, then Jeanette and Bri, the sister and bro in law. This year the kids won’t make dinner but will join us early. I always miss when they ‘re not there. The noise is always a bit overwhelming and our attention diverted in many directions. But at the same time its soothing.

As we all gather around the table for the feast there is always, for me, something purposeful in the moment. I tend to think…this is the year I’m going to give a gratitude speech and tell these people all what they mean to me, but I chicken out every-time, assuming most people don’t want to hear a sappy monologue, but I think it every year.

So instead to today I will give thanks here and maybe, just maybe get the guts to do it at the table because today and every day I am thankful for the people who sit at that table.

I am thankful for the husband whose changed my world and taught me dreams are real
I am thankful for my mom who gave me this life and whose creativity and love of nature runs in my veins
I am thankful for Ralph, Bubba as I call him, for teaching me that people will love you just because you’re you
I am thankful for my mother and father in law Bob and Sandy for making me and my mom a part of their family
I am thankful for Jeanette for being me the sister I always wanted and Brian for being a wonderful husband and father
I am thankful for Amber who always makes me laugh with her silliness
I am thankful for Miranda for her hugs and who I so get
I am thankful for Autumn whose energy lights up the room
I am thankful for Shea whose creativity can’t help but shine
I am thankful the feeling my dogs Mojo and Shyann give me in every day and every moment with a simply nubby wag and gentle kiss

For those not here at the table but at the table in my heart

I am thankful for my big brother who still moves me, my kindred
I am thankful the one woman who watched over me and protected me and who I miss everyday, Miss Pix
I am thankful my godchildren who make me proud every day and whose strength inspires me
I am thankful my Aunt Renee who still make me feel like the special one
I am thankful my godmother whose always been special
I am thankful for all my family who I miss dearly
I am thankful all my friends who fill my heart with every bit of time spent

I am grateful for those who are no longer here, both 2 and 4 leggers:

My Grandma my roommate and memory keeper, my childhood
My Auntie Bertha whose strength I am happy to have
My Dad whom I miss as I always have, we were just getting started
My Grandpa S who always made me LAUGH and feel love
Lenny who gave me so much as a child
Grandpa West who is with us everything holiday saying hello
Grandma West Who will sing New York New York?!
Grandma Allinson and my Nana

For: Buffie (my best friend and nanny), Evenrude (my first cat), Rags (an amazing Tramp), Patches, Shep (he who taught me what unconditional meant), Blackie (so much love and laughs), Vicious (love bites), Dink (mr. personality), Mama Kitty/Kiera, Rugrat, Tony, Fafu, Birdie -and by family Brandy and JoJo!

This life is such a gift and so is every connection made in every day. I am truly honored and grateful that I am here.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! And remember to make gratitude your prayer today.

Silence

Silence feeds me

like no other music

I hear nothing

but my own breath

and my mind

whispering to me

it’s okay.

This moment

is simply for you

You don’t need

voices or sounds

to distract you

Just your breath

Just silence

Just the power of you

Relax

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” —Mother Teresa

Its days like these I need to remind myself of these words. Days when I need them the most.

Honestly it’s not a bad day or a good day, but a day where it’s just – going through the motions. These are the struggle days full of questions and insecurity for me.

For instance, today I feel accomplished. I feel like I didn’t really get anything done, and yet I went to work at my day job all day and since leaving, I’ve walked and fed the dogs, typed up future blog posts and read some of my book.

Perhaps today my mind simply needs rest From deeper issues and career decisions? Maybe my mind is just processing and I’m feeling the mechanism at work? Or maybe not everyday needs to be more than what it is.

It’s fascinating how it’s always easier to comfort someone else, to lift them up and make them laugh when we think they need us, But when it comes to compassion for ourselves it’s always the hardest.

Is it that we don’t believe we deserve it? That we think we haven’t earned it? or do we simply think it’s selfish to care for ourselves?

I keep hoping that the more I’m willing to treat myself with the same compassion as others. The more it will echo in my heart and in my head.

The short and easy speech I need to hear today… Relax!